Week of Solitude: Sunday/ Monday

Saturday night I decided I needed to take this next week "off" from the rest of the world and just solely focus on my academics and personal walk with God. I told myself that I would stay off of Facebook and keep my phone turned off for the week and that I would be keeping my door closed.

What sparked this desire for a week of solitude? Two things mainly. #1) My workload is ridiculously intense and within the next week and a half I have so many papers, mid-term exams, and just regular weekly article readings and analyses that ideally this is the only way I'll even be able to get the work done. #2) This semester has been so drastically different than last semester in the sense of being surrounded by so many amazing Christian brothers and sisters when I had been pretty much completely isolated in Italy, and I'm honestly having a difficult time adjusting to that right now. My life is being turned upside down in so many ways by God, and there is no doubt in my mind that these are all means by which he will strengthen me and grow me in my walk with him, but nonetheless, I can't deny I'm going through a time of trial in adjusting to this different environment. So, after having had an amazingly fun and exciting past two weeks with my Christian brothers and sisters, I'm throwing in the towel and retreating :)

Sunday: Started off with sleeping in which was much needed, then a fairly unproductive morning because I kept falling asleep while reading, followed by a visit from a friend which was extremely enlightening spiritually, and finally ending the day with some major working ahead for a couple of my classes, finishing homework for Monday classes, yet putting off the one item that is of the top of my to-do list this week (or in my head it is at least) which is a 5 page paper for my Maxwell class- Global Community. This essay alone counts for 15% of my final grade. EEK!

Monday: Woke up after the longest amount of sleep I've gotten in the past 2 ½ weeks which was absolutely refreshing! Went to my classes, spent my 2 hour break studying for a Spanish quiz I thought I was going to get to make up in class today since I missed it on last Thursday, only to find out in class that she wasn't going to let me make it up :( Had a nice dinner with my prayer partner for the week from my women's small group bible study. And procrastinated even more on this stinkin' paper..... :/ I honestly can't recall exactly what I was doing during the 3 hours that I wasn't working... Unfortunately I do have to confess that there was some Facebook involved! :'( I thought I could resist the temptation myself but it turns out my ability to procrastinate is much greater than my ability of self-control so I ended up having to ask my dear friend Gabby to change my Facebook password (again...) and now that issue is out of the way! The phone hasn't been that difficult to resist checking but there was one instance today where I needed to talk to someone at that moment and was on a tight time limit so I turned my phone on and made a quick call, which definitely defeats the purpose of solitude but what's done is done :/

So today has been pretty weird trying not checking my phone or Facebook and not interacting with people, but now at the end of the day, I'm not really anxious or upset about it. It's been so nice to have so much time to share my thoughts and feelings with God today when that time has been occupied by other people the past few weeks. This past week I have definitely recognized this feeling of missing all of that amazing one-on-one time that I had with God during so much of my time in Italy, but I didn't really realize how much of a difference in my peace of mind and happiness it has left on me since I've been here. Today was such a disgusting day with the weather and temperatures and workload, but I was so constantly cheerful and at peace throughout the entire day that I really didn't notice and take to heart these things that normally would've brought me down.

During my quiet time tonight though, God has definitely spoken to me in way completely pertaining to my week of solitude. I'm finishing the last few pages of "Captivating" (which I didn't realize I hadn't actually completely finished) and one of the things I read tonight was about the friendships of Christian women in our lives. While what was said is especially true for the women in my life, I was also thinking about the brothers God has brought into my life as well while reading this. "But with the grace of God firmly holding us, reminding us that he is the source of our true happiness, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships throughout our lives. We are not made to live our lives alone. We are designed to live in relationship and share in the lives of other women. We need each other. God knows that. He will help us. We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and in faith to love." God is definitely reassuring me through this little passage that this new adjustment and environment in my life are such blessings that will indeed help me to grow in my walk with him. I realize I need not hold on to my special time I had with him in Italy because the circumstances are much different now and this is the environment in which He has placed me and to have faith in Him and trust in Him. I am so humbly amazed at how He answers my prayers, and to do so, in this specific case, in such a quick manner, I'm just left wondering "How am I even worthy of this love?"